banned for carrying on

Banned for being a wet blanket with attitude and holey socks, but nobody 'll darn 'em cos of the pungent toe jam and the whiff of stale old cheese that's still a few centuries away from being fossilised.

Banned for quoting old and dilapidated accounts of cheesy grilled politicos.

Banned for falling into the trap and deciding to stay a while cos, even though a rescue could have been ten minutes away,  the bait was just too tasty.

Banned for going fishing on the wrong end of the pole, just can't resist a juicy, wriggly worm, can you?

Banned for mentioning my pole in this discussion, and to which end of it I like to hold best.  And I'll have you know that juicy, wriggling worms in a bowl of spaghetti sauce are quite the delicacy and should not be used for fishing.

banned for mocking the reserves

Banned for serving the mockers juicy, wriggling worms when a plateful of slow-moving slugs would have been preferable.... so much easier to get on the damned fork, especially after getting blottoed [completely and totally drunk] at the pub before dinner.

Also banned for reserves.... they didn't like the first serving, much less a second.

Banned for ingesting slimy creepy crawly things to tickle your innards..

Banned for references to the old lady who swallowed a spider that wriggled and wriggled and tickled inside 'er.  She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.... and I thought 'greedy bitch, haven't you had enough protein already?'

Banned for spending more money on tatoos than you have saved for retirement.

And Merry Christmas, may all banners who do not ban this day be forever banned.

Banned for tattooing Rudolph's red nose on your belly button.

Banned for getting a large W tattooed on each butt cheek, so that every time you moon it says WoW.... which is better than the bloke who went to a dyslexic tattooist.... he has a large M on each butt cheek.

banned for assuming some of us even bother with any holidays during this time period

Banned because all good Cajuns know that it was Randolf the Rouge Nosed Reindeer and that Rudolf is a myth.

Banned for assigning importance to reindeer at this time of year when the more important thing is Christmas pud, cake and grog... which includes yer beer, rum n' cider.  OOOOH ARRRRR !!!!!

I ave's four litres o' tradishunal Devonshire scrumpy [cider] left, and I be g'wen t' enjoy ev'ry last little drop.

Banned for sipping eggnog straight up.

Banned for guzzling brandy custard straight down, not to mention scoffing down the rum balls and gorging on the sherry laced minced fruit pies.  Coulda got the same effect a whole lot quicker by boozing it straight outta the bottle.

Bannned because it was a dry Christmas, dry martini that is.

banned for trying to dry out this year

Banned for get ting on the wagon but falling off the other side, drunk as a skunk while sculling your final beer.

Hic!

ban-hic-ned

Banned for the hic in hiccup, the bur in burp, the bar in barf .... and the far in 'fark me, it's beer o'clock'.

banned for