Oh, and banned for being on a PG-rated forum without your mother's knowledge or consent.

banned for mocking those that need their parents

Banned for where's your momma, and did she say you could go online where adults gather to do adult-speak without the supervision of a net-nanny.

Banned because the net-nannys are ubiquitous, and they are watching.

Banned for having a net nanny in your bedroom to make sure you go to sleep when momma says... no looking at Playboys under the covers with a torch for you, young man.

Banned for nannies under the bed instead of the requisite monsters.

banned for not appreciating wet nannies

Banned for thinking that wet nannies are playthings who can be trifled with when the missus and kids are asleep.

Banned for trifling.

Banned for rifling instead of trifling and shooting the neighbours above-ground pool all full of holes.

banned for being full of plot holes

Banned for never having a firm grasp on the plot and going off with the fairies every so often to yank the chains of unsuspecting pixies who truly have a great grasp on their undercarriage while flying high above the clouds in age old zeppelins of the unledded variety.

Banned for hydro musings.

Banned for musing about self-adoration and groping the gristle when the butcher has such lovely beef snags [sausages] with 95% meat while, in truth, supermarkets sell fat sausages with 0.5% meat in undersized recycled bullock foreskins that were originally intended for the Middle East until Somali pirates waylaid the vessel in transit and said it was the worst cat they'd ever eaten.

banned for run on banning to which i never read

Banned for not updating this thread for 3 days

Banned for updating the downtrodden with frozen rum lollipops in the dead of winter atop corrugated cardboard floors surrounded by quarter inch aluminum walls while standing on one foot on a banana peel and the other foot dangling off the edge of a cliff seven hundred and fifty two and a half feet above sea level with gusty forty mile an hour winds at your back. 

Banned for Starkersesque banning.

Banned for comparisons and looking to tar everyone with the same sticky brush that was used to tar Bill Clinton for dangling 'opportunity in front of impressionable interns with a desire to get a'head' while the sun still shines and the moon provides enough light to show what murky characters get up to in the shadows when they think nobody's looking

Banned for preferring to miss out on the best bits.... and pretending it isn't there doesn't mean it'll go away.

Banned for nit picking in the moonlight.

Banned for moonlighting as a nitpicker whose tweezers catch very few nits but thousands of Itchycoo Park tadpoles that come to the surface when they see the big bulging eyes of very small faces peering into the pond of Afternoon Delight with the hope of catching a glimpse of the dancing frog from The Butterfly Ball at the end of each Lazy Sunday afternoon.

banned for scaring away the OP 9 years ago!

Banned for falling off the wagon and landing here, making wild assumptions about who did what to whom, when in fact it was you who took off his mask and scared the bejesus out of those with lesser constitutions and more than frail sensibilities.

Banned for landing on the front lawn in your flying tomato and demanding to see the one who crushed your mammy and canned her.