Banned for the Sequitur who ran rampant through the annuls of time and the halls of justice to create havoc in his own image.... and thou shalt not repeat the performance for fear of being banished to Purgatory with those ill-advised disciples who know not of the gnashing of teeth and the wailing of tortured banshees who fell through the cracks to end up in the bowels of Hades with no hope of redemption or a nice cool drink.

banned for run-on bans

Banned to the nth part of a cookie. 

Banned for a ban that needs a full box of banned-aids to hold it together in place of coherency.

Banned because you need to go on a diet.... with all that bannedwidth your girth has become big enough to be banned in its own right on four continents and parts of the galaxy hitherto unknown to Jenny Craig or laxative manufacturers who recommend a Laxette after every meal containing foodstuffs that are banned in places of higher learning and reduced metabolism.

Also banned because the use of bannedaids is not permissible on days that end with ay and are included on the calendar as part of errant time we spend banning others with no intention of going.

So there!!!  

"... with no intention of going." Where?

Banned for that "there!!!".

Banned for interlocution there and over to here.

banned for wavering here and there

Banned for walking to here AND there just to see how far it was.... and when you got to within 8cm of here and there you realised that you were neither here nor there, so walked back to the beginning with no idea of just how far here was... or how long it'd take to get there walking.  Now just imagine how much longer it'd take to get here and/or there walking backwards with blisters in old rubber flip-flops.... oh, and here in Oz we call em' thongs.

Bannedfor leaving Kansas.

banned for taking ourkansas 

Banned for leaving Kansas with no red shoes to click three times to get home when the Wizard of Oz slaps you with a massive parking ticket for leaving your skateboard in the wrong place at the wrong time and having the Tin Man fall apart all over the place when he tripped on it.

Banned for leaving Alice's Wonderland out of it.

Banned for wishing to smoke a catterpillar in a hooka.

This ban brought to you live and direct from the pookah.

Banned for not knowing that a caterpillar once was the bodily fluids of two butterflies on heat during a cool period where the weather took a funny turn due to taking the wrong medication which caused dizziness, headaches and genital warts, strangely enough, in non-nether region places that were a breeding ground for peculiar types of bacteria due to un-seasonal temperatures because the weather was having a bad day in a catch 22 situation created in part by horny butterflies with only one thing on their minds.... and other parts we shall not mention due to antiquated censorship laws that pre-date Moses and the 11 Commandments.

banned for making my head hurt

Banned for train wrecks.

Banned for joining the banning.

banned for not realizing my ban game veterancy

i just happen to take months long breaks now

Banned for months long breaks where you put your veterancy [in other areas as well] through its paces to see if you still have what it takes to be a multi-tasking hero down at the pub and the other places you frequent to deliberately expose your 'still young' veterancy [compared to mine, Methuselah's and Moses'] to an unsuspecting public with no idea what is about to confront them in locations where they'd least expect it.

Banned for lauding back doors.

banned for going around the front door to the middle door

Banned for going door to door trying to sell your body, only to end up having to pay somebody because there were no takers... regardless of how low you dropped the price and begged them to let you mow their lawns.

Banned by Carpet Munchers anonymous.