the point is not that i need to wait until a certain set of conditions need to happen before i can declare war but that i can communicate with the ai that the actions it is taking are making me consider declaring war, this should cause the ai to reevaluate its location of starbases or ships in order to prevent war if i am stronger then the ai or to choose to ignore my pathetic whining if the ai deems itself to be more powerful
right now there is only a "AI-to-player relationship rating". if the AI demands you to do anything you've got 2 choices:
1) comply. rating will stay unaffected, and in the case of multiple positive factors present the AI won't declare war onto you, will be harder to be influenced to gang up on you, and might also ally to you at some point.
2) ignore. the negative factor will stay and probably prevent all the above advantage, ultimately the AI might go to war against you.
now the point me and others were trying to make is that if you give the player the same methods in his hands you also have to put the same mechanism in place - these mechanisms are are more fundamental or core to the game than the methods itself. as a matter of fact the only reason that AI has the ability to make these complains is get a certain stability into these relationship ratings. Especially for new players who don't know about some of the influencing penalties the game will show them.
but in your scenario a player could demand that the AI removes a starbase, and if the AI complies, still declare war against the AI - which will be weakened beforeahead by its own action. vice versa, if the AI refuses, still be able to ally to the AI (if the conditions are met) because the AI choice to refuse has no negative effect on any rating whatsoever.
this is the reason why, if you want to install such a feature for the player, you have to do it completely and install the underlying rating as well or it won't work.