banned for not putting freakin lasers on their heads

Banned for sucking the Stardock server gremlins on me and  making my subscriptions button not work.  Now I have to  locate bannings the hard way.

Banned for subverting hot dogs in broad daylight.

Banned for cold dogs.... them sled-pullin' huskies oughta get snow boots to keep their li'l pinkies warm.

Banned for wrapping pigglies in blankets then counting to see how many you missed.

Banned for wrapping bacon in blankets instead of fresh bread rolls... then expecting people to eat it without BBQ sauce to help it become more palatable.

banned for using warehouse based consumer centers and working my little fingers to the bone

Banned for no bones about it. Its all good.

Banned for promoting the "boneless."

I want my chicken, my pork chops, my ham, even my anchovies served bone-in.

I eats my meat ON THE BONE.

Banned for boning up.

Banned for gnawing on leftovers.

banned for leaving your jaws on the floor

Banned for limping into port on a plastic peg leg. For shame!   

Banned for leaving your peg leg in the last port and hobbling into the tavern one one leg and wearing a holey old shoe that lets in sea water on one side and lets out recycled rum on the other.

Banned for run off piddlies down your peg leg while holding open the man hole cover to collect it for recycling.

Banned for seeing a chalk picture of an open manhole on the road and walking around it so you didn't fall in

Banned for walking around the chalk and missing the real missing manhole cover. Splat!

Banned for melting down the real manhole cover and selling it for scrap, then spending the proceeds on more chalk.

banned for not supporting his chalk dependency 

Banned for missing the final play and losing a fortune on your fave hopscotch player.

Banned for sidewalk art done in the lesser medium of chalk, rather than the greater medium of puff-paint.

Banned 'cause the Magic Dragons Union might protest the use of Puff in the painting of sidewalks.

Banned for Puff The Magic Faggot, who lived by the sea....

....he had so many troubles he didn't know whether to stand or squat to pee.

BTW: Roy Buchanan, the greatest guitarist to ever walk this earth, used those words in a little ditty between main songs

Banned for a non sequitur.