Banned for lack of whipping cream to fluffyness.. 

Banned for trying to make whipped cream by taking a cat to a cow.

banned for trying to milk the cat

Banned for whiskers in your cup.

banned for taking the jar

Banned for talking politics to a jarhead.

Banned 'cause Jughead retired years ago with Betty and Veronica. The redheaded dude was last seen at the Wax Museum posing as himself.

banned for waxing on about comic characters 

Banned for not waxing off.

banned for not showing me how to sand the floor

Banned for not having True Grit in your sand.

banned for grits and asparagus 

Banned for carrots and sticks.

banned for beating the sticks with carrots until they look like the current US president

Banned for pear-apples, plumcots, orange fleshed watermelons, tiny red bannanas and all other gross perversions in the proper delivery of fructose to the palate.

Banned for being a fruity lemon.   

banned for lemoning on my tree

Banned because I had no other choice- it was the only tree in Brooklyn.

Banned for barking up the tree in front of where I used to live back in the day.

It was a huge oak. I made it halfway to the top, about twenty feet, then the branches got too thin to climb on. Nostalgia... 

banned for being marty mcfly

Banned for a fly in your soup. Standard fare.

banned for standardizing the soups that we eat

Banned for slurping soup from the bowl like the Cantonese.

banned for mocking the eating customs of others

Banned for putting limitations on mocking.