banned for being on the wrong page of history

Banned for making history go backwards.

Banned for drunk history... taking one step forward and two steps back.

banned for joining the two step program

Banned for the two step is as old as dirt.

Banned for the horizontal tango is better than the two-step and the vertical cha-cha.

Banned for using bumper thumpers. And its horizontal bee-bop!

banned for planar sports

Banned for scalar prominences.

Banned for calling into prominence an ill-conceived dillywash that confounds our learned behavioural experts.

banned for using big words

Banned for lack of D-words or other denizens of alphabet soup.

Banned for introducing an alphabet soup mentality to dillywash shenanigans when it was always in numerical order.

banned for alpha numerical standardization 

Banned for non-euclidean hijinks between dimensions.

banned for traveling alternate dimensions 

Banned for one dimentional thinking and a non-lateral thought process that prevents inter-dimentional meanderings of a dingbat nature

banned for extra planar travel through an molasses medium in the middle of winter 

Banned for transporting molasses through interplanetary planes to introduce sweet-tooth cravings to alien entities who don't have a dentist on hand to fix the resulting cavities.

Banned for disassociated Pythagorean principles underlying the need for reminiscences about geomagnetic disturbances of the flatulent kind.

Banned forinsinuating that geothermal disturbances are responsible for flatulence

Banned for flatulence only comes from curried cap'ns.

banned for grammaristic behavior 

Arrrh, but no.... not since meself an uvver cap'ns wivvin me sphere found these 'ere inboard n' outboard moters wot git us goin faster 'n ever.

Nah, them days o' bendin' o'er in front tha sails at tha crack 0' dawn after a night o' curried cabbage, well they be o'er now us 'aves these Mercury n' Evinrudes on 'and.

So banned fer tryin' ta bring vile n' guttural practices inta proceedin's wot 'aves mor decorum than that.

banned for trying to institute talk like a pirate ban