banned for not being stable enough to read properly

Banned 'cause that particular council was banned due to deflated weiners.

Banned for presenting with a deflated weiner in order to get yourself and the council promptly banned from the Upright Weiners Brigade for having just a stiff upper lip while on morning parade..... and rightly so.  If you can't stand to attention when required then there's no place in this man's army for you.

banned for wanting attention in the morning

Banned for not giving it to me.... before AND after noon.

banned for thinking I would even be awake then

Banned for being a sleepy head and having peculiar dreams about men who stare at goats.

banned for goating me

Banned for sleeping in. 

Banned for keys on board.

Banned fer cummin' on board wiv livestock... but that thar sheep 'll be tasty fer shure.

banned for tasting the sheep with banana sauce

Banned fer smugglin' banana sauce on board ta keep yer wench 'appy

Banned for happy wench, happy wife.  er 

banned for not wanting me to be happy

Banned for happy is as happy does... so there!

banned for going there

Banned for never having been there yet still criticising others who have... "and wiv me pitchin' fork, I goes there twice daily."

Figure out the name of the band and the song that line's from and I'll give ya a karma point.

Good luck with that.

banned for usage of luck

Quoting starkers, reply 19543

Banned for never having been there yet still criticising others who have... "and wiv me pitchin' fork, I goes there twice daily."

Figure out the name of the band and the song that line's from and I'll give ya a karma point.

Good luck with that.

End of starkers's quote

   The Wurzel's  from Adge Cutler and the Wurzel's ....Twice Daily

 Banned for paraphrasing a fine old Irish song. 

 "With me fork, and a bottle and a cork to help out in the haytime
A- tossin' hay upon the mow, met young Lucy Bailey
Zaid, "My dear, are you often here?", she said "Yes sir, twice daily"

Banned 'cause The Wiz said so.

Banned for using Wiz's ban to avoid creating your own.... use yer own grey matter.

Yup, that's the one.... a karma point has been awarded.

I actually saw Adge Cutler and The Wurzels  perform Twice Daily live at a pub in Paignton, Devon, Englend back in '69... although the lyrics were a little more risque than the recorded version.  T'was a good night out 'n all.... a dinner of Cornish Pasties and entertainment, what more could a young bloke ask for.... and several pints of scrumpy later, it was one step forward, two steps back, stagger, stagger, stagger.... one step forward, two steps back, stagger, stagger, stagger.

banned for being that old

Banned for being young enough to know it all... and yeah, the 60's was a great time to be alive... at least we had real music back then, unlike much of the drivel o being pumped out nowadays.

banned for typical old man-ism

Remember, same was said of your generation by your parents/grandparents generation. LOL