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Reply to General Guff in Blogging JoeUser Forums

[quote]Are all Pelosi's crazy? I watched a "documentary" on HBO by Alexandra Pelosi, "Right America: Feeling Wronged."[/quote] I tivo'd it but still haven't seen it. I seen the one she did on Ted Haggard. It was okay but it could and should have been so much better. Ted Haggard was such an interesting guy but Pelosi didn't give enough answers. I don't know if that was on purpose or if she just sucks as documentarian. As for Gavin being sick I will s

Reply to Do They or Don't They? in Blogging JoeUser Forums

Her: How was the party last night? Her Daughter: OMG! I got so drunk last night. I think I might've done things I going to regret. Her: What kind of things? Her Daughter: You know. Her: With who? Her Daughter: You don't want to know. Her: Well, I hope you made sure the guy wore a condom. Her Daughter: Oh I did. I'm so glad I practice on bananas though I should have practiced on grapes. Her: Grapes?? Her Daughter

Reply to Do They or Don't They? in Blogging JoeUser Forums

Her Daughter : Mom, I'm pregnant. Her : What? How? Didn't you do anything they taught you in sex ed? Didn't he use a condom? Her Daughter : Yes, I'm not dumb. We stopped at a store and bought condoms and a banana.

Reply to Do They or Don't They? in Blogging JoeUser Forums

Since I don't have any kids I don't know if I have any rights to ask this but, why do a lot of parents want schools to do their jobs for them?

Reply to Here's a map I made in Everything Else JoeUser Forums

[quote]* Erased state borders in First People's Nation, California, and Jefferson.[/quote] [quote]* Carved up Utah between FPN, Jefferson and CNA.[/quote] Looks like The Jeffersons are movin' on up. But I thought it was to the eastside .. To a deluxe apartment in the sky ... ;)

Reply to The 1 - 1000 number game in Everything Else JoeUser Forums

I'm an old man. I don't want to date myself but I turned 21 in 83 . I remember I was at this party in Rome, dressed in a toga, drinking some wine and some ladies feeding me grapes. It was the best until some Romans threw some Christians to the lions and ruined my birthday. I couldn't believe that in the year 83 they still did that. Yes, the year 83 not 1983. I told you I was an old man.

Reply to The 1 - 1000 number game in Everything Else JoeUser Forums

The movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High came out in 82 , and for some reason after I seen it it always makes smile when I hear the song Moving in Stereo by the Cars. Thanks, Phoebe.

Reply to Caption Contest in Everything Else JoeUser Forums

"Damn, if I just kept my pants on I wouldn't have so many kids"

Reply to Valentine's Day Gift for wife, need help in Gadgets & Electronics Stardock Forums

Our digital camera is the same as Whip's and John's. It sucks when taking pictures of kids, too. Because most kids aren't going to keep posing for those 3 extra seconds after they see your finger click the button. BTW .. you can't buy a camera anyway you need to save your money to buy a new laptop after the laptop you have now gets ruin after they run it through the airport x-ray. :D j/k

Reply to Today is brought to you by the letter ‘M’ and the number 46. in Blogging Stardock Forums

[quote]46…[/quote] I been thinking about the number 46, too. Rose and I got fortune cookies the other day and we both had 46 under our lucky numbers. I also had a dream where 46 played a big part. Talking about the way people turn on each other during blackouts reminded me of the episode of The Twilight Zone where a neighborhood had a blackout and at the end people were fighting and trying to kill each other. [quote]Madness…[/quote] <

Reply to a quick hello in Just Hanging Out Stardock Forums

[quote]I am going to be moving soon and will try to get internet service after that. I look forward to catching up with everyone then. [/quote] Hurry, Amy we need articles like you write more than ever around here. :)

Reply to You Could Have Heard A Pin Drop! in US Domestic Stardock Forums

In Las Vegas at the Rio casino, a magic team got into a real argument while on stage. Teller, one of the magicians ended up punching out his partner. You could hear Penn drop. At the Bic warehouse in Connecticut, a forklift driver had an accident and drop a pallet of Bic products. Boy, could you hear the pens drop.

Reply to A-Rod dirty? Oh, no! Say it ain't so in Baseball Stardock Forums

Ooops!! Sorry, Terp that was me up there. :D

Reply to Burning Bush in Religion JoeUser Forums

Your article reminded me of Ezekiel 25:17 the bible passage Jules recites in Pulp Fiction . It then reminded me how in the movie he said it twice the first time because he "thought it was some cold blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before he popped a cap in his ass" and the second time at the diner when he is in his "transitional period" after witnessing a miracle- Him and Vincent not getting shot at point-blank range after saying the passage the first time. So it seems he i

Reply to Caption Contest in Everything Else JoeUser Forums

"Got milk?"

Reply to Caption Contest in Everything Else JoeUser Forums

" ... and this little piggy went wee wee all the way home."

Reply to Unfriending, Defriending, Flummoxed by a Burger! in Virtual Communities JoeUser Forums

I should've found 10 strangers became their friend and then the next day deleted them all for the burger. You notice how I said, "should've" ? Yes, I should've done that instead of what I really did. Damn, my mom is still mad at me. ;)

Reply to Post Secret in Blogging JoeUser Forums

[quote]The premise of the book is simple. Write your inner most secret on a post card and send it to the author, Frank Warren. Frank believes people are more apt to be truthful in anonymity than in real person.[/quote] I think so, too. So are you going to write your inner most secret here? I don't think I would. Even though people don't really know me here they know me better than some. :) Maybe I need to send it to Frank.

Reply to Fifteen Miles in Just Hanging Out Stardock Forums

Ah, the loneliness of the long distance runner. When you do succeed and not think of the fifteen miles what do you think of? Do you have your best thinks on most runs? I don't know why but I think you would.

Reply to Mothballs in Writing Stardock Forums

[quote]Great track! Haven't heard it in years, mate. Thanks![/quote] The music they made from the 70s kicked ass. [e digicons]:thumbsup:[/e]

Reply to Mothballs in Writing Stardock Forums

:D Another winner, Roy. I liked your mothballs joke. I'm always and I mean always saying dumb ass jokes like that to Rose and she falls for them everytime. :) BTW .. How firm were they? ;)

Reply to A letter to the New President of the United States of America 01/20/2009 in Blogging JoeUser Forums

[quote]Charles, I edited out some weird characters that were pasted into the HTML. No content was changed. [/quote] If you're getting rid of weird characters JU is going to be empty. ;)

Reply to The Easter Bunny Comes Early in Writing JoeUser Forums

Funny stuff. I'll bet you one thing. Hey, Joe ... Joe Dimaggio I bet for round 2 your ass did some major brick counting. :LOL: My trick is doing multiplication in my head. Like one times one is one, two times two is four, three times three is nine and so on. ;)

Reply to I want to be like mommy in Humor Stardock Forums

:LOL: Hilarious.

Reply to Chilhood Message From G-D in Blogging JoeUser Forums

Mason, I with KFC on this one. No way was it God who was messing with you. As you remember your mother found you at sunrise under the picnic table. What you failed to realize was that when she found you you were facing east so it was Allah who was fucking with you not God. ;)