Banned for using a coffee pot, rather than a retro-cool percolator like me.

Banned for not banning quick enough to get a ban inserted between my bans.

Banned for triple breaches and treading on thawing thin ice with great big army boots on.

Banned for mocking me with the sad fact that my feets are two big too get my boots through my breetches, you to?

banned for feeling betrayed when there is no betrayal

Banned for having the middle name of Judas and plotting the greatest modern betrayal that invokes wailing and the gnashing of teeth but doesn't involve Vaseline or cattle prods with rechargeable AAA batteries.

Banned for being easy enough that you can get off on low-voltage cattle prods.

Thought you Aussies were supposed to be all about High Voltage .

Banned for getting the wrong end of the stick... our cattle prods are plugged directly into the main grid.... and can be cranked to 2000+ volts for people who won't accept their bans gracefully.

Also banned for thinking that 'turning on the juice' is squeezing a few oranges for breakfast.

banned for using only the main grid

Banned for not sending me the links so I could use yours as well... tight arse.     

Also banned for sticking your fingers in the toaster to jump-start your morning.

banned for not appreciating the joys of toasting your mornings

Banned for non-appreciation of tightrope walking over a crocodile pit in dirty great army boots, without a balancing pole or a safety net.

banned for piling up the dirt so high

Banned for being older than your teeth but younger than your gums.... and needing carbon dating to that find out.

banned for taking the carbon out for a date but not taking the oxygen out for a papaya 

Banned for thinking papaya deserves anything other than extinction.

Banned for thinking that extinction comes to all those who wait and not those who think the end is far from nigh...

We're all a death away from extinction.

banned for philosophical denial of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness 

Banned for walking around in a daze when it's supposed to be a fayz that's meant to be dayz away.

Banned for protesting that there is no reason anyone needs a 30-round magazine, when there are, in fact, 29 reasons.

banned for limiting everything to 30

Banned because you have limited my what-ya-macallits to just 29 when I allocated at least 40 in the event I was going to be short changed by a non-mathematical dweeb with no countenance whatsoever other than the 123 he picked up in tweedle-dee school when he was supposed to be learning tweedle-dum,

banned for hackneyed complaints by an australian wannabe 

Banned for being an American could've been who fell short by all of 6 inches and a hair's breadth between 'em.

banned for mocking my height and not worrying about your girth