Banned for Puss n' Boots never did get it quite right as opposed to doing it leftie wise.

 Banned for using old hat aphorisms in so many bans after sniffing the hat glue.  

For most, hat glue is the truth behind " mad as a hatter", for you it is the way.

Banned for getting the shoe on the wrong foot and blaming a poor innocent cat for your cock-up.

banned for letting the dogs out to chase the cats

Banned for thinking rednecks keep "hours."

Banned because us rednecks know that what's ours is ours, and snowflake lefties best not try and take it.

Banned for being a redneck who keeps irregular hour while keeping what's ours and some of theirs

Also banned for being a redneck who thinks what's his is his and doesn't know that the taxman has taken a fair sized chunk of what's ours, theirs and everybody elses.

Banned 'cause this leftie did it left to right to frustrate the masses.

Banned for thinking what's right just left the building with right handed man who left his coat on the right side of the cloakroom, which is on the left side of the building right before you get the back door that sometimes hits you on the arse when you've left via the ground floor exit and turn right into Left Street.

Banned for confusing sides.

banned by the confucius party

Banned for Confucious say: "Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."

He also say: "Pilot who flies plane upside down bound to have crack up.

And: "Man who goes with woman on bird watching expedition at nudist camp have good chance to see Great Tits."

Banned for aphorisms

banned for not seeing the hole in your pocket

Banned for doing an Alanis Morrissette, with one hand in your pocket.... but the other turning the pages of a girlie mag.

banned for using such mags

Banned for trying to evade your penance by blaming me for the girlie mags under your mattress.

banned for assuming that it was penance to service my lady just like the mags described that she caught me reading

Banned for plagiarizing. 

copying without permission. For shame

banned for breaking the editor

Banned for having three too many and falling up the stairs upon arriving at home, then trying to put the back door key in the front door and cursing the bejesus out of it for not fitting.

banned for assuming that there are multiple keys

banned for assuming that there are multiple keys

Banned for The Whodunit. 

Banned for not suspecting the butler and his accomplice, the dirty one-track-mind maid, who only has murder on her mind.... except on Friday nights... then it's orgies and getting naked with all the other house staff members, who fear for their lives if they don't comply with her sexualised demands.