Banned for feathering your butt to accent the wig on the opposite side.

Banned for accentuating the sublime with the ridiculous in circumstances beyond my control.

banned for being in control

Banned for a lack of control and a loss of inhibitions... now did the neighbours really need to see that?

Banned 'cause neighbors are snooty and they want to know if you're weird.

Banned cos my neighbours wanna know the ins and outs of a cat's arse and more... and why is that damned telescope still hanging out of his freakin' window?

banned for hanging around

Banned for not hanging air-fresheners in the lavatory... and you always wondered why visitors would frequently disappear next door for a while.

Banned cos the half moon carved into the door was deleted for having spam for breakfast.

banned for spamming the ban edict everywhere

Banned for horsing around with a donkey and going hee-haw.

Banned for digging foxholes in the garden for your G.I. Joe dolls only to dig them up 8 years later and watch their rubber-tendoned legs fall off.   

(my poor Storm Shadow)

Banned for hiding your blow-up doll in the basement, only to rediscover it 8 years later with its boobs all deflated and spiders hiding in its orifices.

banned for, wait, what?

Banned for spider bites and losing your pump to re-inflate the gone-down boobies.

Banned for making jokes about spider bites when I actually have one and it Flipp'n itches.

Banned for biting spiders in the arse. Ouch!

Banned for I was bitten by a spider several years ago and lost much of the soft tissue on my lower left leg due to necrotising from enzymes in its digestive juices.

banned for losing your leg and replacing it with a wooden peg

Banned for forgetting who I am.

Banned for peg legs made from kevlar and, depending on which hand you use for TP, a chrome hook with velvet cuffs. 

Banned because your Kevlar could not save you from getting taken advantage of by hookers with teflon-coated tranquilizer darts.

Banned for hookers are not generally known for tranquiliser darts and 'blow guns' as they are more conversant with sucking.

And Uvah, banned for TP replacement with a hand, hooked or otherwise.

banned for falling for that hook line and stinker

Banned for putting the stinker on the hook and smelling up the place.