banned for going to the store instead of letting the store come to you

Banned for mentioning coming instead of going.... not to mention omitting the shortcuts to that and other stores.

banned for carving out a mask instead of buying a good cloth one

Banned for needing a mask 24/7 365 to keep the stares away.

Did you hear about the bloke whose girlfriend was so ugly that he put a brown paper bag over her head?  He also wore one just in case hers fell off.

banned for trying to put them in the sack

Banned for giving the bag maker the sack, then bagging him for being unemployed.

banned for pissing all over the floor because you refused to hold the bag properly

Banned for pissing up the wall to see how high you could go.... then complaining about the resulting golden shower like raindrops falling on your head.

banned for falling on your head and blaming the dog

Banned for assumptions and 'I assume so's'..... the dog was nowhere to be seen.

banned for trying to capture the dog so you could prove your point

Banned for allowing your point to interfere with the capture of a dog named Boo.

banned for changing references to make your point more succulent 

Banned for getting drunk at a beer tasting from just sniffing the bottle tops.

banned for thinking that is a bad thing

Banned for not joining my beer thread because you can't purchase Romulan Ale.

banned for banning it in the first place to make it that much more difficult 

Banned for placing me at the scene of the crime [a place I've never been] and falsely attributing dastardly deeds to me.

banned for the comment boxes not observing 1.5 metres distancing.....     

Banned for sneaking into the coaches box to get a better game view and only getting to see the back of his bald head

banned for picking on the bald ones

Banned for not knowing that a blokes bald spot is in actual fact a solar panel to power his sex toy.

banned for needing another power source because your first one no longer works

Banned for putting sugar in the fuel tank to render my first motor useless.

banned for following the advice from def leppard