With A Gun Barrel Between Your Teeth

You Speak Only In Vowels

from JoeUser Forums
Sir Peter has challenged me to a duel on "horseback" for Urban Faery's love. I was just wondering what I would do for the next couple of days, but now I know. It is time to crush Sir Peter, with limited ease I might add. "Sir Peter" is an old businessman, and I'm a young verile man, and If I chug a rum and coke, I will be fearless! Sir Peter, I find your challenge ridiculous, and only an oppurtunity where you will get hurt, so of course, I accept. However, I have some demands that must be met.


  1. If someone goes limp, yells "Stop," taps out; the fight is over
  2. Only two guys to a fight
  3. One fight at a time
  4. No shirts, No shoes
  5. The fights will go on as long as it has to
  6. And the sixth, and final rule: I must have The Dust Brothers playing throughout the fight.


I await your decision.

Yours Truly,

Phantom of the Night
(Proud member of PM)
2,352 views 6 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
I accept your challenge boy, I am a former SAS general I will wipe the floor with you.

As for your rules:

1) If you cry or go "limp" I will have mercy on you boy. Although I suspect that you going limp is the reason you need to fight to keep your girlfriend in the first place.

2) My bodyguards will not intervene in any way.

3) OK

4) I will be wearing full medieval armour

5) I will defeat you within 1 minute

6) We will play Beethoven to ensure a dramatic mood to the duel

I look forward to claiming your woman boy

Sir Peter Maxwell


Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sir Peter,

I must remind you that you have set a difficult task for yourself. Phantom and I have been together quite sometime and if you want to win me away you're going to have to prove that you are worthy. As for your rules:

1. Phantom going limp is not the problem, he wouldn't be fighting for me if you hadn't challenged him, so perhaps it's you that has something to prove

2. Yes, two guys to a fight

3. One fight at a time

4. Sir Peter if you refuse to remove your shirt and shoes in a fight I'm inclined to believe that you'll also refuse to do so in the bedroom. I'm not seeking a shy man.

5. We'll see how long the fight takes.

6. I will never consent to being a mistress to someone who doesn't appreciate a good Dust Brothers soundtrack
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
If you want to wear medieval armor to protect your fragile, elderly bones, then so be it. I await our fight Angel Face.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
I will sell popcorn...
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
You may be a knight. That is fine with me, but I will also be a knight. A Jedi Knight. Let's see your armor hold back 10, 000 Volts shooting out of my fingers........Bitch!