Forgive me for saying so, but you sound something like a "Bigger is better" elitist.
Not really; a large part of my job is providing machines powerful enough to do the task at hand as cheaply as possible, so I generally have to be pretty spot-on when it comes to power vs price. As I say, we do a lot of CAD work, so I'm used to Revit and Photoshop files than regularly hit 10-20GB of RAM on their own. I also work with ESXI VM hosts that make ANY desktop machine look fairly puny, and need to set up virtual servers in a manner that uses resources sparingly... so yeah, I'm not really in the business of just saying 'add lots more expensive RAM for no reason!!!'.
But then, it IS something of a truism that "If you can buy it, it already is obsolete." That's seems to always have been the case going all the way back to the '80s. But as I see it, if a PC rig is inadequate, it would NEVER be able to run a hardware intensive game at "normal" speed. Yet, with my archaic setup, I have been able to run the game for as much as 5+ hours at a time, with not the slightest hint of lagging. Other times...
That's because the amount of RAM used isn't constant. As I say, you can construct the galaxy with ~6gb or so. Once that's done, the size of the map really ceases to play a part in the RAM calcs, and it more becomes a matter of how many units are in play - and that number rises over time. As it's a 64-bit program, GC3 can address upto something like 17TB of memory, and will continue working it's way up there as the game heats up. Combine that with poor garbage collection and you end up with lots of stuff sat in RAM at once; 8 GB will fill up faster than you think. Also, do bear in mind that on the laptop I'm typing this on (with 4GB), the game won't even let me attempt to generate maps larger than Huge.
I'd really like to know where you shop for hardware. "... a sub-$200 budget model even when it was released in 2012"? I purchased it on sale at Best Buy at Xmas 2014 for $243. The cheapest online price I could find at that time had it listed at >$200. In 2014.
What, this card which 6 months later is £83?:
https://www.alzashop.com/msi-n650ti-2gd5-oc-d2145420.htm?kampan=adeupla-uk_produkty_graficke-karty&gclid=CKCv2c7hnsYCFXQatAodmwYADg
Though actually, this one is the upgraded Ti config of the same card... which means it has twice the GFX cores. It's an upgraded version of yours. Yours is this one:
http://www.justop.com/catalog/asus-gtx650-e-2gd5-geforce-gtx-650-2gb-gddr5-graphics-card-unplugged-oc.html
Being sold for £90; about $140. I found these two on consumer sites in 2 minutes of googling. If I actually went to one of my regular suppliers and bought it OEM, then it'd be somewhat closer to £65.
Now, I do generally buy from trade sources, so the prices I expect are maybe 15-20% lower than you'd get in a retail outlet... but yeah, the 650 series was never intended to be high-performance. It, and it's various derivatives, were produced toward the end of that chipset's life cycle, and so were deliberately positioned as budget models.
It may be that revealing the map and increased number of colonies do go hand-in-hand. When the lagging started (if there was lagging at all) was when I had @15 colonies and had uncovered @15% of the Insane galaxy hex. (It may be worth mentioned that in setup, I tried for "Abundant" for both systems and planet count.). But now that I've turned off the Steam overlay, despite having revealed >85% of the entire map and colonized @100 planets, I have only occasional lagging. (@30seconds or less once every 10 minutes or so.)
Well, there's no argument against Steam being a bit of a resource hog for what it is; however, your OP suggests that you were under the illusion that you have a bit of a beast of a machine, which isn't really the case. Your processor architecture is dated, your GFX card is low-end, and while a couple of years ago 8 gig of RAM was sufficient, it's now also coming to be the low end for intensive applications - especially games. The processor is probably OK for a while, but I'd recommend adding in another 8 gig of RAM.
You're likely one of the players Stardock was hoping to help with the 1.1 habitable planet nerf; there's now 1000 less planets on an insane/abundant map compared to 1.0 maps. This is something Stardock may look to increase back up over time. You're likely also benefiting indirectly from the AI's self-gimping behaviour - it doesn't specialize very well, and so also tends to under-perform in military production as the game progresses, which is hopefully something else which will improve. As a result, expect the lagging issues to get worse rather than better with future patches; Stardock have said that they're considering raising the minimum specs as the game progresses.