Yeah... You can highlight your allies' ships though and order them around that way. They won't consider your word law, but if you are being attacked by a large fleet, they will generally help. When playing against a few of unfairs, I had one hard ally that I used to take the hits while I turtled to the point where I could knock them out in one fell swoop. (I was on Gateway and had sole control of each planet in the other system and each one had a novalith 
. I know its not the most efficient way, but it was funny to see them all fall in one volley) After which my fleet moved in and leveled anything left...
In short, use the "Attack" or "Defend" & " Target" button. It works. Its a bit counter-intuitive, but once you get the hang of it, you can force an aggressive ally to just send his fleet to any of your planets that is under attack. Its nice...
