"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways."
"If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?"
"No guts, no glory, no brain, same story."
"Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money."
"If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who said, “Quit while you’re ahead”?"
"If you don’t die from it — it is healthy."
"If everything is going well, you don’t know what the hell is going on."
"One good turn gets most of the blankets."
"It is better to be looked over than overlooked."
"It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents, it’s how he found out"
"There are two kinds of pedestrians — the quick and the dead."
"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."
"An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys."
"If at first you don’t succeed — give up! No use being a damn idiot."
"Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply awful."
"You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever."
I found these a long while ago and I don't know who these are from.
