Amnesia is what I suffered every time I came home from the pub and my missus asked where I'd

been.

nowheres is such an odd word because it basically means more than one

nowhere!

Wind, the answer blows in it.

Dove

Mouth from the south requests deep fried twinkees.

yikes

Crumpet eating Yetis often have social anxiety issues, next time offer a crumpet with some fresh marmalade, and you my have a new chap for the Rugby team.

Long-winded

Scrum-diddleicious she said those mexican peppers were. Too bad i had to pay later for her enjoyment.

mucho pethos

Thread ending posts, often contain mucho pethos.

Sinful

Hands, i know a guy named Vinny, he uses his hands for communication, and he is not deaf.

Gumba

Heard the one about the guy who told his wife he was going to play golf and sneaked of to work.

Apprentice Jim was sent to the store to ask for a left-handed hammer and a long weight (wait), and wondered why they kept him there so

long.

Retrospect is what I wish I got when I got my last pay rise... that it was backdated to when I was 15 and just entering the

workforce.

Revolting is when you're in an elevator and some recalcitrant peels off a ripe one before you get the

chance.

Solitaire is a bit like my sex life of late... both are played out

alone.